Remembering Gracen

October 2nd, 2011 the loss of our sweet baby, Gracen. Oh how this day brings up such emotion for me. Two years has passed so quickly yet seems so long ago.  I can still remember the few months being pregnant and the loss of a baby I long to meet, long to hold, and long to say 'Mommy loves you!'

Exactly one week from the loss of Gracen, this song was played during the first church service I was able to attend after bed rest and the miscarriage.  It touched my heart so much that day with raw emotions still running in my head, God knew exactly what I needed to hear. He let me know that He never left my side and cared about me... cared about Gracen. My child was first His and only after a  very short time was once again with his/her Father in Heaven again! My heart was saddened for a while yet through prayer, devotions, and song I found comfort and had peace knowing what I was going through was not to punish me but to make me stronger in Christ (Jeremiah 29:11 and Romans 8:28) . It hasn't been an easy two years but its been a teaching two years. I have learned so much about my faith and my relationships. I am blessed. I had a few months with my baby and only I got to experience that life. I have a beautiful, loving, energetic, smart boy here on earth that brings such joy and love to my life daily I can't even imagine having more than that! I don't deserve to be his Mom but God allowed me to be. I don't deserve to be Gracens mom, but I have two children because earth is not my home but Heaven and that is where Gods promised both Aiden and Gracen to me! One day I will hold Gracen for 'ten thousand years and forever more' alongside my husband, Aiden, and my God. A family complete for eternity. Oh how good is our God. Who else can promise that?
No one but the Great I Am. 

We will release our balloons to Heaven for Gracen's second heavenly birthday before we start our day tomorrow (today). We participated in the "Walk to Remember" by CrossHeart ministry last year and I so wish I could do it again this year as it brought so much closure and comfort last year. I highly recommend it for families who have experienced the loss of a child no matter what stage in life. Gracen will be honored on the shirt and in our hearts. Here is pic from last year of us walking to remember Gracen. 

Here is another song that caught my attention during our loss two years ago and still stops me to a time of worship.
We are still waiting for another miracle from God and while I am I plan to honor God in all circumstances in life.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

The day we found out we were expecting our second baby. Little did we know God never planned for us to meet our baby this side of Heaven.