God is Faithful

God is faithful. I know that full well. Even in the hardest times I never feel alone. God is always there to listen. He already knows what I'm thinking but talking really helps! He has also given me Chris. A good support system and Godly man that I have been in love with for 13 years! Aiden who keeps me smiling even when I have bad days. He is so loving, sweet, and caring to be so young. Thankful for that. Surrounded by those three things daily makes me realize how lucky I am!

The months of Oct - Nov are now hard to get through. Who would expect them different if they've read my blog post prior? We lost (what would have been our second child) Gracen first of October 2011.  It was a hard few months after that last year. November, trying to get back to normal and then holidays hitting. It wasn't easy! I prayed more daily than I ever have, I cried more than I ever have, and I was grateful more than I ever have been. When you have something like a baby taken from you, or a loved one of any kind for that matter, you realize what matters and what you should be focusing on! The things you forgot to thank God for and we all do that from time to time. I heard a quote on KLove radio one day.

"What if you woke up tomorrow only with things you thanked God for today!" Wow! 

Well, a year later and those two months are still hard to get through. Its easier, but still hard. When things come up that throw you back in the moment. Things around you remind you of that time. When others are celebrating their news when you are still grieving over yours. Its all hard.

Just know that days get easier, the pain never goes away but hurts less every day (at least for me), and God is always faithful.  I lean on Romans 12:12 "Be joyful in hope, Patient in trouble, and Faithful in prayer."